Friday, October 24, 2008

Ever have those "snapshot" moments?

Those moments where you're doing something, anything, and you suddenly see yourself as if through a camera?

I felt that camera click just a few minutes ago and it left me with such a feeling of contentment...

Emma and I were in the living room waiting for her school bus to pull up outside our house. I was measuring a twin size white sheet on her so I can cut it into a Princess Leah costume for next week's big day. Sitting on my knees, leaning over the material, I measured and marked and cut and measured again.

We heard the school bus coming up the street, so Emma grabbed her pink backpack and rushed out the door. She made it three feet to the steps before running back to give me a hug and kiss.

I stood at the door, costume in hand, watching her climb those steep bus steps, smile at the bus driver, walk down aisle and plop down next to a friend.

That's when the camera clicked.

I saw myself, a stay/work-at-home mom seeing my amazing daughter off to school while I finish up her costume. How blessed am I? This is what I've always wanted! My biggest, most significant dream has come true -- to be a wife and a mother, a housewife, if you will.

It's certainly not all fun and games. Laundry isn't particularly fulfilling and the constantly askew dish towels make me want to pull my hair out. My eyes glaze over at the dusting to be done yet again and at the miscellaneous pile of stuff we tend to move from one place to the next, but never put away.

But in spite of all this, there is a familiarity, a comfort in the routine. A feeling of security. A sense of achieving domestic perfection (haha!) a la Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best.

My house isn't perfect... the beds are unmade, there are weeds in the yard, various things are missing and despite all the laundry being done, Emma still can't find socks. But I generally manage to keep the chaos somewhat under control, stay mostly on top of dishes and laundry, keep the pantry stocked (although Hayley would beg to differ) and occasionally find time to write.

I'm content.

I think I'll go make cookies so my girls will have a fresh, homemade snack to come home to.

Should I put on pearls while I do so? No... I think the colored macaroni necklace is better suited.

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